You can learn to simmer in pain for a long time. You can grow accustomed to a tense situation and convince yourself that it is OK to stay in this hot water (so to speak). Remember the experiment with the frog in a water tank? The researcher put the water tank over a slow flame. He wanted to discover the temperature that would motivate the frog to jump out. The frog never jumped out because it stayed in the hot water until it was too late. After gradually adjusting to higher temperatures the frog died in the hot water. Are you ready to take the leap yet? Whether it is reorganization, job dissatisfaction, personal burn-out, or the need for more money, you need to make time to think about your next steps.
Think of your mind as an internet search engine. What do you type into the search box in order to find the directions to your destination? The answer is your goal. Sometimes the goal is not exact, or you have a spelling error, and you find yourself going around in circles. It frequently takes time to find the precise description of the destination. Once you figure out the destination, you can research the many potential pathways to get there. Then you can focus on the action plan for getting to the destination
Your confidence may waiver when you think about taking a step toward the future. Did you know that you can be confident in many areas of your life, and still feel that you lost your MOJO (MOtivation to Jump over Obstacles) when you set out on a new endeavor? We make judgments all the time about our ability to complete a project, use our talents, or work toward a goal. Self-confidence is our judgment of whether or not we can do something. It is a judgment, based on weighing all of our abilities, our motivation, and all the resources we can gather. Self-confidence is also based on perceptions about what we think we have within us in order to complete the task in front of us.
Here is a way to regain your confidence: Past experiences and successes provide a feeling of confidence in the present moment.
Look back to the time when you made a good decision, accomplished a difficult task, got a promotion, found a job, or achieved a tough goal. Write a story about what you did and how it made you feel. If you find that this experiment makes you feel proud, keep going. Look deeper at your current situation, and find some similarities to the past. For example, you are now applying for a job doing fund-raising. You look back at your past and find you completed a successful fund-raising event for your club or church, and you have real proof of your capability. If you can feel confident that you did a similar task before, you will feel that you can do it again.
Self-confidence also breeds self-confidence. In other words, the more you see yourself behaving confidently, the more confident you will become. Some people say fake it until you make it. The mind believes what you tell it. Keep feeding your mind positive examples of your confidence. So what would you do now as a confident person? What would it look like? Can you see yourself taking that action?
© 2016, Carol-Anne Minski, PhD.
This article is adapted from Carol-Anne’s new book- Focus! Get What you Want Out of Life, http://www.focuswithdrc.com/book/
Dr. C provides leadership and career development coaching for individuals that need help finding their MOJO.